YUOP和半姐來到英國大使館, 找PARKING找到半死, 累到半死
YUOP: THIS IS BLITTISH AIYA, ENGLAND WHAT LIAO AR?
RECEPTIONIST: THIS IS BRITISH CONSULATE....CAN I HELP YOU?
YUOP: WE WAN TO COMPLAIN THIS MAN AR, EEEEE ZECT HIEW (ISAAC HIEW)! HE IS BETRAYING HIS COUNTRY!
BANJIE: YEAH! HE WANTED TO WORK ILLEGALLY IN UK!
RECEPTIONIST: (SURPRISED) REALLY? PLEASE HAVE A SEAT, WE WILL ATTEND TO YOU SHORTLY.
YUOP: TANKYU AR!
(AFTER 20 MINUTES, ONE OFFICER COMES INTO THE SCENE.)
OFFICER: MR.... YUOP AND MISS.... BANJIE?
BANJIE: YEAH YEAH YEAH! ME ME ME!
OFFICER: I UNDERSTAND THAT BOTH OF YOU WERE READY TO PROVIDE US INTELLIGENCE ABOUT THIS INDIVIDUAL WHO PLANNED --- ACCORDING TO YOU --- ENTER UK GROUNDS, OVERSTAY AND WORK ILLEGALLY?
YUOP: AIYO, I DUN UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU TOKING ABOUT LEH...... CAN SPEAK CLEARLY ER BIT AR? YOUR ACCENT AR VERY POWER WOR......
OFFICER: (PATIENT) I MEANT, YOU WANNA COMPLAIN ABOUT THIS GUY.....
YUOP: YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH YEAH! HIS NAME IS EEE ZECT HIEW (ISAAC HIEW)!
OFFICER: EEE ZECT?
(BANJIE WROTE THE NAME ISAAC HIEW AS ISSAC HIEW.... NORMALLY PEOPLE ALWAYS MESS UP MY NAME)
OFFICER: YOU MEANT ISAAC (EYE ZECT)
YUOP: WHATEVER LAH!
OFFICER: OK.... DO YOU KNOW HIS CURRENT WHEREABOUTS?
BANJIE: HUH?
OFFICER: (A BIT FRUSTRATED) WHERE IS HE NOW? WHERE?
BANJIE: ENGLAND LOR!
OFFICER: WELL.... WHICH PART OF ENGLAND?
YUOP: I KNOW I KNOW...... HE SAID BEFORE, RIVERPOO!
OFFICER: IT'S LIVERPOOL... AND PERHAPS YOU WOULD BE KIND ENOUGH TO TELL ME WHERE DOES HE LIVE?
BANJIE: I THINK I KNOW..... AH! ATLANTIC OCEAN SOMETHING.....
OFFICER: (ASTONISHED) WHAT? EXCUSE ME? ATLANTIC OCEAN? DID I HEAR YOU RIGHT?
BANJIE: DON'T KNOW LAH.....
OFFICER: ALRIGHT NEVERMIND (TAKE A DEEP BREATH) SINCE HE IS IN LIVERPOOL, WE CAN HOOK UP WITH OUR IMMIGRATION COUNTERPARTS AND SEE WHICH PART OF LIVERPOOL HE IS IN.
YUOP: GOOD GOOD GOOD! CATCH HIM AND SEND HIM BACK TO MALAYSIA!
OFFICER: DID HE SAY WHAT JOB IS HE GOING TO TAKE UP?
BANJIE: HE WANNA JOIN THE BLITTISH ARMY!
OFFICER: o___O I THOUGHT YOU SAID THAT HE WAS GOING TO WORK ILLEGALLY IN UK?
YUOP: YEAH!
OFFICER: IN FACT WE ALLOW COMMONWEALTH CITIZENS TO JOIN BRITISH ARMY. IN FACT I AM VERY SURE HE WILL BE THE VERY FIRST MALAYSIAN TO JOIN BRITISH ARMY AFTER INDEPENDENCE..... SO WE CAN'T DO ANYTHING TO HIM, IN FACT I PERSONALLY THINK HE IS COURAGEOUS.
BANJIE: BUT HE IS BETRAYING MALAYSIA?
OFFICER: SO? THAT DOESN'T HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH US, DOES IT?
YUOP: WHAT IS KOMENWELL?
OFFICER: EX-COLONY OF BRITISH EMPIRE (FELT BORING)
BANJIE: WHAT IS THAT?
OFFICER: YOU KNOW, GO HOME ASK YOUR GRANDPARENTS. PLEASE GET OUT OF HERE IF YOU HAVE NOTHING ELSE TO REPORT. (POINTS TO TWO ROYAL MARINE PERSONNEL) MR MCMILLIAN, MR UPHAM, WILL YOU PLEASE ESCORT THESE TWO PEOPLE OUT? I HAD ENOUGH OF THEM.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Saturday, June 5, 2010
My UK updates!
I have arrived at Liverpool UK, and I am quite excited in sharing my experiences in Liverpool.
The reason why I am so late in posting the blog is because the wifi isn't ready yet. Yes, I am dying after days without Internet.
Because of Daylight Savings Time (DST), The UK is only 7 hours behind Malaysia instead of 8.
27th May
Took Air Asia flight which supposed to take off at 9.40pm, but severely delayed until 10.20pm. What's worse, I seemed to have lost my IC card (ID). Reached LCCT at 11.20pm, and dismayed to found out that the bus to the KLIA has gone.
Managed to hook up with a lady who is also going to Dubai on the same flight, although she is heading for Newcastle. We shared a taxi and managed to reach and check in at KLIA at around 12.30am.
Worse of the worse? My laptop's throwing tantrums with me. It wouldn't start. It is the second most important stuff next to my passport. Will fix it later in UK.
Will first go to Dubai at 0200 hrs, then connect to another flight that flies to Manchester Airport. From there, it will be expected that the campus will arranged busses for all of us. Both flights are Emirates.
28th May
Worse day on my journey so far. Lost my boarding pass without a single fucking reason. I remembered it was tucked safely inside my shirt pocket. I walked from one end to another and it was gone.
Reprinted ther boarding pass as well as my return air ticket receipt. I still got my bank drafts so all is still well for me.
Took off from Dubai International airport at 0755 hrs dubai time (1155 Malaysian time). Excellent service provided by the air crew members. Suffered from jet ags because my body is tired, eyes are burning and my mind is slightly wobbling. Managed to sleep a little.
Reached Manchester Airport at 1230 UK Time (Malaysian Time 1930).
Surprisingly, the airport's trolleys need a pound sterling coin to disconnect their reins, to the shock of many, I merely used a 20 Malaysian cents coin to do the job.
(From now on, the time depicted will be UK time)
Reached our dormitory which is called Atlantic Place. Bought a lot of groceries as I didn't bring too much for fear of offending the flight baggage limits.
Didn't sleep much for the past 36 hours. When I woke up since my sleep at 1900hrs, it was already 2230 hrs, and here's the fun part, the exploration of Liverpool uptown area with two of my friends.
We left our dormitories at around 0030hrs (29th May) and the cold winds stab our bones unmercifully. Estimated that the temperature was only 8~12 degrees Celcius.
We walked down south and happen to see a lot of couples, some drunk, walking around the place. They were quite open, that at least one of them actually doing PDA in front of us! The security officer was kind and helpful to show us directions when I asked him where is the nearest bar, although we expressed no intent of visiting, just passing by.
It was quite a thrill, as you yourself and your two friends walked down the streets of a strange country in the early morning. People were free getting themselves drunk. Girls dressed in lavish or semi-scantily clad manner walking around, chatting and laughing loudly with their beau or companions. We even have people asking directions from us and offered to pay a pound for a spare cigarette, which we declined because we were not smokers. The police were virtually everywhere. We even caught a glimpse of two horse-riding police officers.
Then the unthinkable happenned, we were at Church street when we witnessed witnessed a man in our opposite direction, assaulted a lady, pushed her down and kicked her repeatedly before taking off and he ran towards us, and took a left turn of his direction and went into the alley after spotting an unmarked police patrol car behind us. I even showed the police car the direction, but we didn't know whether the police car did catch the guy. The police officers in the area got alerted and scaned the area though. Talking about hyper-efficiency.
It is way different in KL. You must be considering yourself lucky if the police arrive in 30 minutes. The Malaysian police presense give you goosebumps and worries, UK police's presense give you a safe feeling. This is the difference when the police is run between political parties and independent body.
One weird thing is that the Liverpool police officer wear bullet-proof vests but is unarmed, and the Malaysian police has virtually a 9mm semi-automatics and MP5 submachine guns yet without personal protection. One can observe the safety level in Liverpool. I can only say nothing but praise their professionalism.
We went back to our hostel and feeling thrilled. What a day to spend it all.
29th May
Liverpool is a small town, according to my friend, Elaine, who has been living here for the past 3 years, that it has only 800,000 residents here, which is even smaller than Ipoh!
At around 1500 hrs we went to St John's, and met Ish, a Pakistani immigrant that sells phones and reloading services (They call it top-up). I thrown in a hefty 10 pounds, which I plan to use it for the next three months, the call rates were dirt cheap and He asked me where I came from. I answered Malaysia.
"How's life in Malaysia?" He asked.
"Oh, we have three seasons." I said.
"Uh-huh?"
"Hot, hotter and hottest." I said with a laugh, "The lowest temperature is about 25 degrees at night, but at 3pm it can go up to 39 degrees, everyday. It rains heavily every month. and the best part is..."
"What?"
"The humidity level is 85%." I said with a smile.
His expression was priceless. In fact every Britons I have met were terrified upon hearing the humidity level. It will be killing you, but it ain't fatal, get over it!
I seperated from my friends to pay Elaine, my long lost friend a visit who has been living in Liverpool to my much, much surprise and besides of renting very lovely and cosy house, she loves cats! She got like 6 big, fat cute cats and each year she gave their litters away to her friends for adoption.
I sayed for a few hours, letting Steven, Elaine's boyfriend fixing my computer and then we chat about Christian faith. I revealed that I am an atheist and Steven wasn't bothered, instead of pushing his Christianity ideas to me in an single-way-manner, I was pleasantly shared with his own experiences with God. That moved me a lot because I felt respected and more welcoming myself to the ideas of Christianity.
We went to a bar at around 7pm, near Renshaw Street, called Hannah's, and we drank ourselves with Alan and Pete, two young UK blokes and we chatted about almost everything under the not-so-hot sun.
I had a large sandwich, Beef with lettuce and mustard (Western wasabi, which is not spicy at all, at least not in my taste)
Then we moved to a Chinese restaurant that serves Malaysian Chinese "modified" cuisine because its just "Britainised"
Malaysian Food. I had chicken rice. The portion was so big that I had to take away the Chicken meat, and drank the veggie soup and well as my rice (Gosh they were so big, UK people sure can eat!)
Oh and by the way, Steven gave me his old windbreaker for free! Thanks so much! My roomates were so envy of me because I know seniors that really did help me! Muahahahahaha
30th May
It's Sunday, I woke up at 5am automatically and I went out for the very first time in UK, alone and without a map. I was keen to explore the entire city. And It was quite small I must say. I can walk to the docks, then come back to St Johns Shopping center. It was cold in the morning. The places will not get busy until 11am. And everything dies down at 5pm.
One thing that I was fascinated about was around 9am where I was walking down Hanover street and saw a lady walking on her nylon stockings. Poor she, somehow she has lost her shoes when she was out drinking the saturday night and was glancing around for taxis. Her frinds were at the side of the bar, don't know doing what... sigh.
She looked at me and smiled sheepishly.
"Good morning miss," I looked at her feet. "What's wrong?"
"Oh Good morning, I was looking for a taxi..." I can see that she is really embaressed about this.
"Okay..." There was nothing really I can do, One thing in UK is that you never offer to help a lady if she is obviously with a company because that is considered rivalry to her male companions, or if she is asking for your help. So I can only walk away.
Met up with my roommates, who said they wanted to take a boat ride at the docks but cancelled the idea for some reason.
We bought some food at Tesco and bumped into more friends. Then we walked back, cooked ourselves some meals and eat and chat.
Elaine passed me my laptop back at around 8pm and Dorcus teased me for being an old lady.
I was freezing in the dusk and couldn't talk back. So Elaine said I owe a big big dinner to them. Oh Gosh!
31st May
It's Monday and also the Bank's Holiday in UK and I woke up aain in 5am, which translates to noon in Malaysia. I think my bio clock is still baying for adjustment.
Didn't do much except purchasing more food at Tesco.
1st June
It was a wet, cloudy morning, with only 11 degrees celcius, and we walked to Britannia Adelphi Hotel to kick off our induction.
After several lengthy speeches given by various officials including a police officer and a Chinese Fire Safety Council Member that we rather her speak Chinese instead of English, we were then ushered to a hall to have our lunch.
The lunch was delicious, but poorly planned as there were only 2 types of meal to choose from. Liverpool Scotch, a type of broth cooked by stewed mutton, large thin slices of potatoes, sea weed, and onion. And Bland scotch, the vegetarian version of it, where I didn;t get any chance at all to taste it. I just got one helping and the minute i returned o it, it was gone.
Things got off a little bit hot when Iqbal, our programme supervisor officially announce me as the Leader of Group 2. He also complained of me didn't hand up work to him on time. Don't blame me, blame on my pc.
Will type a short intro about myself and then post it on the e-mailist, as per ordered by Iqbal.
Filed a request to the office for a RJ45 cable, hopefully they can send it in by tomorrow. Before that I will have to borrow my roomate's pc for any Internet reference.
two days ago I have told my roomates that the chicken drumsticks that they have bought will get expire by 2nd of June, and they happenned to purchased a pot to cook these chicken drumsticks.
The reason why I am so late in posting the blog is because the wifi isn't ready yet. Yes, I am dying after days without Internet.
Because of Daylight Savings Time (DST), The UK is only 7 hours behind Malaysia instead of 8.
27th May
Took Air Asia flight which supposed to take off at 9.40pm, but severely delayed until 10.20pm. What's worse, I seemed to have lost my IC card (ID). Reached LCCT at 11.20pm, and dismayed to found out that the bus to the KLIA has gone.
Managed to hook up with a lady who is also going to Dubai on the same flight, although she is heading for Newcastle. We shared a taxi and managed to reach and check in at KLIA at around 12.30am.
Worse of the worse? My laptop's throwing tantrums with me. It wouldn't start. It is the second most important stuff next to my passport. Will fix it later in UK.
Will first go to Dubai at 0200 hrs, then connect to another flight that flies to Manchester Airport. From there, it will be expected that the campus will arranged busses for all of us. Both flights are Emirates.
28th May
Worse day on my journey so far. Lost my boarding pass without a single fucking reason. I remembered it was tucked safely inside my shirt pocket. I walked from one end to another and it was gone.
Reprinted ther boarding pass as well as my return air ticket receipt. I still got my bank drafts so all is still well for me.
Took off from Dubai International airport at 0755 hrs dubai time (1155 Malaysian time). Excellent service provided by the air crew members. Suffered from jet ags because my body is tired, eyes are burning and my mind is slightly wobbling. Managed to sleep a little.
Reached Manchester Airport at 1230 UK Time (Malaysian Time 1930).
Surprisingly, the airport's trolleys need a pound sterling coin to disconnect their reins, to the shock of many, I merely used a 20 Malaysian cents coin to do the job.
(From now on, the time depicted will be UK time)
Reached our dormitory which is called Atlantic Place. Bought a lot of groceries as I didn't bring too much for fear of offending the flight baggage limits.
Didn't sleep much for the past 36 hours. When I woke up since my sleep at 1900hrs, it was already 2230 hrs, and here's the fun part, the exploration of Liverpool uptown area with two of my friends.
We left our dormitories at around 0030hrs (29th May) and the cold winds stab our bones unmercifully. Estimated that the temperature was only 8~12 degrees Celcius.
We walked down south and happen to see a lot of couples, some drunk, walking around the place. They were quite open, that at least one of them actually doing PDA in front of us! The security officer was kind and helpful to show us directions when I asked him where is the nearest bar, although we expressed no intent of visiting, just passing by.
It was quite a thrill, as you yourself and your two friends walked down the streets of a strange country in the early morning. People were free getting themselves drunk. Girls dressed in lavish or semi-scantily clad manner walking around, chatting and laughing loudly with their beau or companions. We even have people asking directions from us and offered to pay a pound for a spare cigarette, which we declined because we were not smokers. The police were virtually everywhere. We even caught a glimpse of two horse-riding police officers.
Then the unthinkable happenned, we were at Church street when we witnessed witnessed a man in our opposite direction, assaulted a lady, pushed her down and kicked her repeatedly before taking off and he ran towards us, and took a left turn of his direction and went into the alley after spotting an unmarked police patrol car behind us. I even showed the police car the direction, but we didn't know whether the police car did catch the guy. The police officers in the area got alerted and scaned the area though. Talking about hyper-efficiency.
It is way different in KL. You must be considering yourself lucky if the police arrive in 30 minutes. The Malaysian police presense give you goosebumps and worries, UK police's presense give you a safe feeling. This is the difference when the police is run between political parties and independent body.
One weird thing is that the Liverpool police officer wear bullet-proof vests but is unarmed, and the Malaysian police has virtually a 9mm semi-automatics and MP5 submachine guns yet without personal protection. One can observe the safety level in Liverpool. I can only say nothing but praise their professionalism.
We went back to our hostel and feeling thrilled. What a day to spend it all.
29th May
Liverpool is a small town, according to my friend, Elaine, who has been living here for the past 3 years, that it has only 800,000 residents here, which is even smaller than Ipoh!
At around 1500 hrs we went to St John's, and met Ish, a Pakistani immigrant that sells phones and reloading services (They call it top-up). I thrown in a hefty 10 pounds, which I plan to use it for the next three months, the call rates were dirt cheap and He asked me where I came from. I answered Malaysia.
"How's life in Malaysia?" He asked.
"Oh, we have three seasons." I said.
"Uh-huh?"
"Hot, hotter and hottest." I said with a laugh, "The lowest temperature is about 25 degrees at night, but at 3pm it can go up to 39 degrees, everyday. It rains heavily every month. and the best part is..."
"What?"
"The humidity level is 85%." I said with a smile.
His expression was priceless. In fact every Britons I have met were terrified upon hearing the humidity level. It will be killing you, but it ain't fatal, get over it!
I seperated from my friends to pay Elaine, my long lost friend a visit who has been living in Liverpool to my much, much surprise and besides of renting very lovely and cosy house, she loves cats! She got like 6 big, fat cute cats and each year she gave their litters away to her friends for adoption.
I sayed for a few hours, letting Steven, Elaine's boyfriend fixing my computer and then we chat about Christian faith. I revealed that I am an atheist and Steven wasn't bothered, instead of pushing his Christianity ideas to me in an single-way-manner, I was pleasantly shared with his own experiences with God. That moved me a lot because I felt respected and more welcoming myself to the ideas of Christianity.
We went to a bar at around 7pm, near Renshaw Street, called Hannah's, and we drank ourselves with Alan and Pete, two young UK blokes and we chatted about almost everything under the not-so-hot sun.
I had a large sandwich, Beef with lettuce and mustard (Western wasabi, which is not spicy at all, at least not in my taste)
Then we moved to a Chinese restaurant that serves Malaysian Chinese "modified" cuisine because its just "Britainised"
Malaysian Food. I had chicken rice. The portion was so big that I had to take away the Chicken meat, and drank the veggie soup and well as my rice (Gosh they were so big, UK people sure can eat!)
Oh and by the way, Steven gave me his old windbreaker for free! Thanks so much! My roomates were so envy of me because I know seniors that really did help me! Muahahahahaha
30th May
It's Sunday, I woke up at 5am automatically and I went out for the very first time in UK, alone and without a map. I was keen to explore the entire city. And It was quite small I must say. I can walk to the docks, then come back to St Johns Shopping center. It was cold in the morning. The places will not get busy until 11am. And everything dies down at 5pm.
One thing that I was fascinated about was around 9am where I was walking down Hanover street and saw a lady walking on her nylon stockings. Poor she, somehow she has lost her shoes when she was out drinking the saturday night and was glancing around for taxis. Her frinds were at the side of the bar, don't know doing what... sigh.
She looked at me and smiled sheepishly.
"Good morning miss," I looked at her feet. "What's wrong?"
"Oh Good morning, I was looking for a taxi..." I can see that she is really embaressed about this.
"Okay..." There was nothing really I can do, One thing in UK is that you never offer to help a lady if she is obviously with a company because that is considered rivalry to her male companions, or if she is asking for your help. So I can only walk away.
Met up with my roommates, who said they wanted to take a boat ride at the docks but cancelled the idea for some reason.
We bought some food at Tesco and bumped into more friends. Then we walked back, cooked ourselves some meals and eat and chat.
Elaine passed me my laptop back at around 8pm and Dorcus teased me for being an old lady.
I was freezing in the dusk and couldn't talk back. So Elaine said I owe a big big dinner to them. Oh Gosh!
31st May
It's Monday and also the Bank's Holiday in UK and I woke up aain in 5am, which translates to noon in Malaysia. I think my bio clock is still baying for adjustment.
Didn't do much except purchasing more food at Tesco.
1st June
It was a wet, cloudy morning, with only 11 degrees celcius, and we walked to Britannia Adelphi Hotel to kick off our induction.
After several lengthy speeches given by various officials including a police officer and a Chinese Fire Safety Council Member that we rather her speak Chinese instead of English, we were then ushered to a hall to have our lunch.
The lunch was delicious, but poorly planned as there were only 2 types of meal to choose from. Liverpool Scotch, a type of broth cooked by stewed mutton, large thin slices of potatoes, sea weed, and onion. And Bland scotch, the vegetarian version of it, where I didn;t get any chance at all to taste it. I just got one helping and the minute i returned o it, it was gone.
Things got off a little bit hot when Iqbal, our programme supervisor officially announce me as the Leader of Group 2. He also complained of me didn't hand up work to him on time. Don't blame me, blame on my pc.
Will type a short intro about myself and then post it on the e-mailist, as per ordered by Iqbal.
Filed a request to the office for a RJ45 cable, hopefully they can send it in by tomorrow. Before that I will have to borrow my roomate's pc for any Internet reference.
two days ago I have told my roomates that the chicken drumsticks that they have bought will get expire by 2nd of June, and they happenned to purchased a pot to cook these chicken drumsticks.
Saturday, May 22, 2010
Feigning to be one's boyfriend
Hey guys, I am sorry for going away for such a long time. I am now no longer selling cars as
I am now busy preparing for my UK trip. This incident involves my ex-coworker, Yvonne, who
told me of her rather sad story.
Yvonne has recently fell into a love relation with a guy working inside a wholesaler store
behind my car dealer's venue. The man apparently told her, after a week's relationship, he
told Yvonne that he actually has gotten married and already has a kid.
Yvonne was kind of sad and she seek my advice. I said to her that she should let go of
this relationship and then look for a better man because she deserves it.
Seeing her reluctant to let go of the relationship, even going as far as willingly becoming
his mistress, I said, "If you were to be his wife, how would you feel? Do you like to share
your husband with another woman? What about his kids?"
After an hour of me being her audience (I am a very good listener :P ) she suddenly
suggested a very silly but fun idea; me posing as her "new boyfriend" and walk together with
her to that store he was working and then piss the hell off him.
I was put off at that time, but after another half-hour's persuasion, I submitted and then
we walked to there and get ourselves ready for the action.
"You must be a really good actor ok?" Yvonne said with a bit of worry.
I extended my hand to hers and held it, “ I am worried that you might not be able to take it
because rest assured, I can really act well."
It's true, I learnt drama before and the lecturer actually approved that I do have some sort
of talent. So we really held hands and walk around the store, looking for that dude,
"checking the merchandizes" and "comparing prices" around, and I stumbled upon a 40-
something, haggard-looking man, looking towards our direction in a slight amazed by
controlled expression.
Yvonne appeared behind me and said to me quietly after the man left, "That's him."
"I thought you said he was handsome?" I asked. She responded with a slap on my shoulder
lightly.
"no lah! I was stupid to fell in love with him."
We then deliberately walked to wards him and his work mates (They all know about the affair
between Yvonne and him) and as they looked, we walked to the other end of the store, without
looking him, because I was pretending not to notice his presence.
Then another man said in our direction, "Wah, your boyfriend ah?"
"Yes!" she said in a happily manner.
Without her notice, I kiss her forehead in front if everyone, and then she was like
surprised and I said to her quietly, "I told ya that I am a very good actor, you regret?"
She was like blush all over and then she said in a jest manner, "You are so dead.... I'm
So gonna sue your ass off this time..."
We took our bought goods and we were still holding hands, before letting go after exiting
the wholesaler.
I asked her how she felt, did she felt better? She said something like regretful because
such a revenge thingie wasn't that great at all. You get back to the person who hurt you
but yet the feeling is bitter-sweet.
Hopefully Yvonne can get herself a better man.
By the way, on the next day Yvonne said that the dude did call her and ask about who I am. And she really
answered that I am her boyfriend, and ask him not to call her up anymore! Ouch!
I am now busy preparing for my UK trip. This incident involves my ex-coworker, Yvonne, who
told me of her rather sad story.
Yvonne has recently fell into a love relation with a guy working inside a wholesaler store
behind my car dealer's venue. The man apparently told her, after a week's relationship, he
told Yvonne that he actually has gotten married and already has a kid.
Yvonne was kind of sad and she seek my advice. I said to her that she should let go of
this relationship and then look for a better man because she deserves it.
Seeing her reluctant to let go of the relationship, even going as far as willingly becoming
his mistress, I said, "If you were to be his wife, how would you feel? Do you like to share
your husband with another woman? What about his kids?"
After an hour of me being her audience (I am a very good listener :P ) she suddenly
suggested a very silly but fun idea; me posing as her "new boyfriend" and walk together with
her to that store he was working and then piss the hell off him.
I was put off at that time, but after another half-hour's persuasion, I submitted and then
we walked to there and get ourselves ready for the action.
"You must be a really good actor ok?" Yvonne said with a bit of worry.
I extended my hand to hers and held it, “ I am worried that you might not be able to take it
because rest assured, I can really act well."
It's true, I learnt drama before and the lecturer actually approved that I do have some sort
of talent. So we really held hands and walk around the store, looking for that dude,
"checking the merchandizes" and "comparing prices" around, and I stumbled upon a 40-
something, haggard-looking man, looking towards our direction in a slight amazed by
controlled expression.
Yvonne appeared behind me and said to me quietly after the man left, "That's him."
"I thought you said he was handsome?" I asked. She responded with a slap on my shoulder
lightly.
"no lah! I was stupid to fell in love with him."
We then deliberately walked to wards him and his work mates (They all know about the affair
between Yvonne and him) and as they looked, we walked to the other end of the store, without
looking him, because I was pretending not to notice his presence.
Then another man said in our direction, "Wah, your boyfriend ah?"
"Yes!" she said in a happily manner.
Without her notice, I kiss her forehead in front if everyone, and then she was like
surprised and I said to her quietly, "I told ya that I am a very good actor, you regret?"
She was like blush all over and then she said in a jest manner, "You are so dead.... I'm
So gonna sue your ass off this time..."
We took our bought goods and we were still holding hands, before letting go after exiting
the wholesaler.
I asked her how she felt, did she felt better? She said something like regretful because
such a revenge thingie wasn't that great at all. You get back to the person who hurt you
but yet the feeling is bitter-sweet.
Hopefully Yvonne can get herself a better man.
By the way, on the next day Yvonne said that the dude did call her and ask about who I am. And she really
answered that I am her boyfriend, and ask him not to call her up anymore! Ouch!
Friday, April 23, 2010
I spend a hell fucking lot of money on my dad's car.
My dad's 15-year-old Perodua Kancil (A rebadged Daihatsu Mira L200) is now 15 years old, and I just don't feel like changing into a new car.
I just spent a great deal of money to change/modify the parts on it to improve its' performance. But the ultimate modification will be a complete engine swap to the Mira L5.
Because it's harder and harder to get car loans in Malaysia now. And not to mention that the new car prices are getting more and more expensive.
Buying a second car is never my option because you will have to "learn" the entire aspects of the car you just bought, that with foreseeable problems.
Say you have been Driving Toyota for years now, and now you're forced to purchase a Proton. Chances are you will be hampered by various issues such as different designs, engine layouts and even performance expectation because Toyota and Proton are completely two different car manufacturers.
Therefore, engine modification remains to be the cost-efficient method of between getting a new car and a second-hand car.
The only draw back is that the budget can be unlimited, because according to the "Bathtub" theory; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bathtub_curve , the older a machine gets, the higher the failure rate and hence the higher maintenance cost.
Planned modifications on my kancil:
STAGE 0
Grounding cable with voltage stabilizer (Done, RM888)
STAGE 1
-Daihatsu Mira L5/L7 engine block (659cc) with 4-speed automatic transmission
-Turbocharger clocked at between 0.5 to 2 bar pressure.
-Intercooler
-Turbo timer
-"Piggyback" ECU Remapping device
-ECU Voltage Stabilizer
-Fuel Regulator
Stage 2
-Ventilated Disc Brake system on all 4 wheels
-fully adjustable suspension systems
-strut bars and anti-roller bars
-polyurethene bushings
-new 15" sport rims
-performance tyres
Stage 3
-Strengthened chassis
-carbon fiber hood, rear bonnet, fender, doors
-Carbon fiber drive shaft
-Carbon fiber flywheel
Stage 4
-In-Car-Entertainment
-Body repaint (Pearl White)
-Custom Body kit
-De-vinyl (No stupid stickers or badges allowed! I want clean, simple, and speedy!)
There are two things I want those people out there to know:
1) I am not a rich boy who drives a rice-burner. I want my kancil to be simple looking but fierce inside. I am going to make my car a "sleeper". ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeper_%28car%29 )
Imagine a pimped out Perodua Myvi looking down on me, thinking that I'm just another "mosquito" but when that traffic light turns green, he's gonna eat smoke coming out from my aluminium tailpipe.
2) Buying a new car isn't the best way at all. If you can spend another 15 grand on a car for another decade, instead of spending 60k on a so-called brand new car which will also become old after 10 years then why not? Not to mention the extra bank interests, whole new batch of things to learn on your car and other hidden costs! Maybe old on the outside, but what's more important is the inside! Look at those old mini coopers and Volkswagon beetles! They don't even have air conditioners!
I just spent a great deal of money to change/modify the parts on it to improve its' performance. But the ultimate modification will be a complete engine swap to the Mira L5.
Because it's harder and harder to get car loans in Malaysia now. And not to mention that the new car prices are getting more and more expensive.
Buying a second car is never my option because you will have to "learn" the entire aspects of the car you just bought, that with foreseeable problems.
Say you have been Driving Toyota for years now, and now you're forced to purchase a Proton. Chances are you will be hampered by various issues such as different designs, engine layouts and even performance expectation because Toyota and Proton are completely two different car manufacturers.
Therefore, engine modification remains to be the cost-efficient method of between getting a new car and a second-hand car.
The only draw back is that the budget can be unlimited, because according to the "Bathtub" theory; http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bathtub_curve , the older a machine gets, the higher the failure rate and hence the higher maintenance cost.
Planned modifications on my kancil:
STAGE 0
Grounding cable with voltage stabilizer (Done, RM888)
STAGE 1
-Daihatsu Mira L5/L7 engine block (659cc) with 4-speed automatic transmission
-Turbocharger clocked at between 0.5 to 2 bar pressure.
-Intercooler
-Turbo timer
-"Piggyback" ECU Remapping device
-ECU Voltage Stabilizer
-Fuel Regulator
Stage 2
-Ventilated Disc Brake system on all 4 wheels
-fully adjustable suspension systems
-strut bars and anti-roller bars
-polyurethene bushings
-new 15" sport rims
-performance tyres
Stage 3
-Strengthened chassis
-carbon fiber hood, rear bonnet, fender, doors
-Carbon fiber drive shaft
-Carbon fiber flywheel
Stage 4
-In-Car-Entertainment
-Body repaint (Pearl White)
-Custom Body kit
-De-vinyl (No stupid stickers or badges allowed! I want clean, simple, and speedy!)
There are two things I want those people out there to know:
1) I am not a rich boy who drives a rice-burner. I want my kancil to be simple looking but fierce inside. I am going to make my car a "sleeper". ( http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleeper_%28car%29 )
Imagine a pimped out Perodua Myvi looking down on me, thinking that I'm just another "mosquito" but when that traffic light turns green, he's gonna eat smoke coming out from my aluminium tailpipe.
2) Buying a new car isn't the best way at all. If you can spend another 15 grand on a car for another decade, instead of spending 60k on a so-called brand new car which will also become old after 10 years then why not? Not to mention the extra bank interests, whole new batch of things to learn on your car and other hidden costs! Maybe old on the outside, but what's more important is the inside! Look at those old mini coopers and Volkswagon beetles! They don't even have air conditioners!
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
Finally can use my laptop to go wireless internet
So laptops happen to have a stupid wireless switch to prevent the batteries from going dead. Yeah, as I am typing, the battery power is flowing like water.
Although Fujitsu laptops are notoriously expensive, you have to admit that they use really good materials to manufacture their products. One for example is their ez-pad mouse.
The one that really annoys me is the Compaq laptops. Whenever you type, the over sensitive mousepad will sense any kind of movement hovering above the pad and prompt the cursor to jump to another unknown region, jagging up your typing which makes me want to shoot the laptop with a M-16 assault rifle.
Another one is the Toshiba laptops which I have sold before during PC Fair. That one really sucks because today you sold it out, then the customers will come back to you on the next day baying for a refund. Nothing horrifies the salesperson like this.
The Acer also like ma-ma desu. My friend here totally rejects it as junk.
Only Lenovo(IBM), Asus and Fujitsu are the best so I've heard. But definitely I wouldn't choose compaq and toshiba because they truly suck.
Although Fujitsu laptops are notoriously expensive, you have to admit that they use really good materials to manufacture their products. One for example is their ez-pad mouse.
The one that really annoys me is the Compaq laptops. Whenever you type, the over sensitive mousepad will sense any kind of movement hovering above the pad and prompt the cursor to jump to another unknown region, jagging up your typing which makes me want to shoot the laptop with a M-16 assault rifle.
Another one is the Toshiba laptops which I have sold before during PC Fair. That one really sucks because today you sold it out, then the customers will come back to you on the next day baying for a refund. Nothing horrifies the salesperson like this.
The Acer also like ma-ma desu. My friend here totally rejects it as junk.
Only Lenovo(IBM), Asus and Fujitsu are the best so I've heard. But definitely I wouldn't choose compaq and toshiba because they truly suck.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Bought a 2nd hand laptop and a new digicam~~~~
For my upcoming UK studies, I bought a 2nd hand laptop from my friends, it's a Fujitsu-Siemens S2010 which runs on 1.7GHz Core 2 Duo and a 1GB Ram and a 40GB for a mere RM900. Most importantly, when I am typing, the cursor didn't even flinch like Acer and Compaq.
Compaq, Acer and Toshiba laptops actually suck a lot because I have sold them during PIKOM PC Fair. I was kinda disgusted because most customers would bought it on Friday and then crying all about it, asking for repairs and shit on Saturday. Luckily I only had to do the job for 3 days and anything longer than that, my future kids may come without an asshole. Never, ever fuck with your own karma.
I also bought a Nikon S3000 digital camera that comes with a 12MP and a 4GB memory card for only RM550. The digicam was quite nimble and its LCD screen is fluent. Its only drawback are its inability to manually set the aperture(f) and also its shutter speed.
I took a few pictures with my S3000 but were not ready to share them, but I can share them on this blog perhaps on a day-by-day picture blog. I can also use these two things to le you guys join me on my Europe hitchhiking trip on October, right after my UK studies.
Compaq, Acer and Toshiba laptops actually suck a lot because I have sold them during PIKOM PC Fair. I was kinda disgusted because most customers would bought it on Friday and then crying all about it, asking for repairs and shit on Saturday. Luckily I only had to do the job for 3 days and anything longer than that, my future kids may come without an asshole. Never, ever fuck with your own karma.
I also bought a Nikon S3000 digital camera that comes with a 12MP and a 4GB memory card for only RM550. The digicam was quite nimble and its LCD screen is fluent. Its only drawback are its inability to manually set the aperture(f) and also its shutter speed.
I took a few pictures with my S3000 but were not ready to share them, but I can share them on this blog perhaps on a day-by-day picture blog. I can also use these two things to le you guys join me on my Europe hitchhiking trip on October, right after my UK studies.
Monday, March 8, 2010
the "i" joke.
After the success of iMac, iPod and iPhone and the recently stupid iPad, Apple's boss Steve jobs thought he can fool every single apple fanboy out there and decided to expand the "i" brand. Which literally famous for its translucently look nice, steep price and useless + boring products.
Here's a few examples.
Motorcycles - iRide
Cars - iDrive
Toilet Bowls - iPoop
Bicycles - iBike
Tricycles - iBike 3W (W stands for Wheel)
Housing and real properties - iLive
Tombs - iDie
Office utilities - iWork
Stationaries - iWrite
Calculators - iCalculate
Gym tools - iStrong
Condoms - iFuck
Condoms with fruit flavors - uSuck
Here's a few examples.
Motorcycles - iRide
Cars - iDrive
Toilet Bowls - iPoop
Bicycles - iBike
Tricycles - iBike 3W (W stands for Wheel)
Housing and real properties - iLive
Tombs - iDie
Office utilities - iWork
Stationaries - iWrite
Calculators - iCalculate
Gym tools - iStrong
Condoms - iFuck
Condoms with fruit flavors - uSuck
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